How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows
January 5, 2010
Writing your own wedding vows is a beautiful and romantic thing that you can do for each other. It can also be one of the most stressful things that you do. There is a lot of pressure to come up with your own vows that are meaningful, original and heartfelt. But here are some steps that will make writing your own wedding vows a little easier.
Talk with your fiancé and decide together if you will have a matched format or if you will both be on your own for the vow writing. Sometimes it can be helpful to say you will both start with your thoughts about the first time you met and go from there or maybe you both will make a fun list to read about the “3 things I love about you”. You may also decide to both be completely original and do what you feel best represents the way you feel.
Decide on the mood of your vows. Do you want them to be passionate and romantic or fun and witty? What kind of couple are you? Use your personalities to decide up front how you want your vows to come across.
If you aren’t sure what to write about, start with answering questions. Write them down for reference later. Be specific and try to use events to explain the story.
How did you feel the first time you met him/her?
When did you first know that you loved him/her?
What has he/she taught you about life and love?
How has your life changed since falling in love with him/her?
How do you feel when you aren’t with him/her?
What do you look forward to as you grow old together?
What does marriage mean to you?
Find a quiet place that you can be alone with your thoughts. You may want to start with an outline to keep in line with what you and your fiancé have agreed to or just to keep your thoughts organized. You can start with how you met followed by how you fell in love, what they mean to you now and how you see your future together. Refer back to the questions you answered in the previous step as you are writing.
Practice your vows. Even if you and your fiancé choose to read from a written piece of paper rather than memorizing it is a good idea to practice your wedding vows so that it flows better and you are more comfortable. This will also let you test the length of time that your vows take. One or two minutes is about as long as you probably want to go with your vows or you may start to see your audience’s eyes glaze over.
Check with your officiant to be sure they are okay with your vows. Some religions are more strict than others.